Food glorious food 16 May 2020

Hi to all our friends from all over the world wot is luvin’ our posts. We is Samson an’ Delilah pups wot is livin’ in the amazing island of Corfu. Does you all out in Facebookland know that we have now posted 28 times on Facebook and we still hasn’t been adopted? We is appealing for your help. Pleese, pleese, get us away from the Missus wiv her mop an’ bucket and the food….We has a problem wiv the food in this house. First we finks it’s suspicious that the Missus feeds us 4 times a day, and like Hansel and Gretel we finks she might be an ol’ witch wot is fattening us up to eat us. The main problem is for 3 of the meals she feeds us this dry stuff called Crancy Gold, but it isn’t gold. It has pretty little red bones an uvva shapes in it, but after a while it gets really boring. So wen she dishes it up yet again we look at it as if it’s sumfink the cat has brought in, although we don’t have no cats living here. So sometimes, wen we is lucky, she mixes us some of Aunt Bessie’s gravy an’ puts it on the dried stuff, but now we doesn’t like that much neiver. But after we have had our afternoon nap at 6pm she gives all 6 of us dogs some of the Crancy dry stuff mixed wiv meat out of a tin. She pretends she cooks it, but we sees her opening the tins, so she can’t fool us. The meat is delicious, an’ so first we fishes out all the meat, even though she thinks she’s clever by mixing it in wiv the dry stuff, an the gravy from the tin makes it all so delicious. There is not a sound in the house as we race to eat it all. It has come to a point where in the mornin’ even wen we are really hungry after sleeping all night, we looks at the Crancy dry stuff an’ turns our noses up, so now she is giving us meat mixed in wiv all our meals. Haha we won that one!

Wot we don’t understand is why we can’t have the same food as hoomans. They eat roast dinners wiv yorkshire puddings, an’ curry, an’ beef stew an’ dumplings, an all sorts wot we don’t get. They don’t eat wiv us neiver as they finks they is superior. Sumfink about us being the bottom of the pack. Wot is that about? We finks they is like Mr an’ Mrs Bumble in a story about a poor orphan boy Oliver Twist. They eats all the good food an’ poor Oliver gets rubbish food, an’ is so hungry he asks for more. We is orphans too an’ we don’t like the rotten Crancy dry food, so pleese can someone adopt us an treat us like a hooman so we can eat propa human food? We know a song about that with apologies to Lionel Bart.

Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty four All we ever get is Crancy! Ev'ry day we say our prayer Will they change the bill of fare? Still we get the same old Crancy! There is not a crust, not a crumb can we find, Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes and imag... ine

Food, glorious food! Hot sausage or something smelly! While we're in the mood Cold marrow bone jelly! Bonios and saveloys! What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it, boys In-di-gestion!

Food, glorious food! We're anxious to try it. Three banquets a day Our favourite diet! Just picture a great big steak Fried, roasted or stewed. Oh, food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Glorious food.

Food, glorious food! What is there more handsome? Gulped, swallowed or chewed -- Still worth a king's ransom! What is it we dream about? What brings on a sigh? Piled chicken and chips, about Six feet high!

If you want to know the tune follow this link https://youtu.be/ly7PONiKGUs

An’ yes Crancy does give us all indigestion (hiccups), but The Missus sez it’s ‘cos we eat it too quick. Wot is she on about?