Excitement in Smelly Spadefuls 22 April 2020
- Samson and Delilah
- May 6, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: May 7, 2020
Hi folks out in Blogland we is Samson an Delilah wot lives in a little house on the side of a hill in Corfu, the land of legends, although we don’t know eny. Every day The Missus follows us around wiv her mop an’ bucket and sometimes it gets a bit wearing. Why does she never stop cleening up after us? Has she got a problem do you fink?
We have had some excitement in our lives. Normally our hoomans don’t go out ‘cos they have to fill in a form if they want to, but this excitement happened right here in our little house. Luna came running in to the house from outside and she knew there was something good an' exciting as she ran into the kitchen area and there wos a puddle of water, an it wasn’t a puppy wee puddle neiver. It smelled so nice Luna started drinking it. The Missus got her mop and bucket ( yes she did) and started mopping the puddle up. Then she called in The Boss who wos outside trying to mend the strimming machine wot he hits the weeds with and cuts their heads off. It don’t work. It works for 5 minutes then stops. He sez it has no spark. Wot is that about? Enyway he started taking all the stuff out from under the sink, which we fort was fun to play with, so we got put outside. It seems the water wos not coming out of the sink. So then they opened the door into their bedroom and the stinky water wos in there too and all the way through the bedroom to the bathroom. All the mats were wet so the Missus threw them out of the window which The Boss was not happy about, but she sed she had no choice as they were stinky too. Then she bleached all the floors and washed off all the shoes that got wet, an then washed the bath mats and bedroom mats. But only after the problem was fixed or there would be more water in the house if she used the washety-chine. The uvva day The Boss had sed he thort there might be a blockage in the sewer as there was water coming out of the ground, but he didn’t want to look, so he didn’t. Now there wos stinky water in the house so he had to find a manhole. We don’t know wot is a manhole. We fink it might be a hole that a man can go in, but this is Corfu and nuffink is wot it sez it is. An’ we woz right. The Boss dug and dug, he could have asked us as we is expert at digging holes, but he didn’t let us out to help him. He couldn’t find the manhole. So the Missus sed that on the ‘puter she had photos of the work when it wos done, and they looked on the ‘puter an’ found the manhole wos not in the place where they fort it was. Two minutes later The Boss had the lid off the tiny little hole that was more a doghole than a manhole. It was full of disgusting stinky stuff. Now we loves stinky stuff but even this wos too much for our delicate noses. He sed it was full of puppy poo. Hang on! We did wonder wot The Missus did wiv the poo presents we left her every day and night. Now we know! She flushed them down the loo. That’s gratitude for you! The Boss had to put in a long stick an wiggle it about an’ in the end the watery stuff gurgled down into the septic tank and he throwed all the solid stinky stuff on the land a long way from the house. So the moral of this tale is if you chuck puppy poo down the loo, then expect it to come back to you in spadefuls especially with a Greek sewage system. In fact there’s a poem about that: There wos an ol’ lady on Corfu Who flushed puppy poo down the loo, She was quite shocked When the sewer got blocked And flooded the kitchen, bathroom, an’ bedroom too.
But it’s her hubby you should pity, He didn’t want to a job that was sh...ty He dug in the pit Shovelled out sh...t But that’s not the end of our ditty.
The moral of this one is clear, In a Greek sewage system we fear If you flush puppy poo and paper down the loo It’s going to cost you dear.
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